Inadequate Adventure
Written 2021/4/14
Visit Inadequate Adventure! The only amusement park where you are never good enough to get on the rides. Don't believe us? Get over here and prove us wrong!
Here at Inadequate Adventure, you bring the inadequacy, we provide the adventure!
Never Enough
It doesn't matter if you want to ride our famous Screamer coaster, or the teacups— you'll never be fit to ride. For one attraction you may be too tall, for another, too small.
For the pool, you're not cool, and if you're hungry, you don't have enough money. If you want to ride Stick It! you won't have enough tickets, if you want to skate, you'll have to wait, for our shows, you're too slow, and if you want to leave, you don't believe. In here, you can go where you think you're able— but you'll always find yourself incapable.
Things To Do (if You Were Good Enough)
If you were actually qualified, you could do many— very fun, we might add— activities throughout the park. Along the west end we have our famous Screamer coaster— which none of our guests have survived. (None of our guests have been on it, either.) If you're not ready for the Screamer, you could try your luck with the teacups, carousel, or pool— all of which you won't be good enough for, either.
Tired after walking around the park and finding nothing to do? Why not take a break, and get a snack— oh wait, you can't afford it.
Despite being site director, I seem entirely unable to unlock the door to my office. I've tried every key I, and everyone else on site, has available. Someone tried to kick the door off its hinges, but broke their shin in the process. No one else seems able to enter their offices, either. I don't know how anyone is supposed to work when none of us are able to enter the facility.
Alright, I'll admit, that's a funny joke— but please stop playing games, or you're all fired. We haven't received a single document from your site.
Directions
If you think you're adequate (you aren't) find us on Tough St. in Durban, South Africa
Open from: Any time you're not free - When you're free
Viability Report
Number of Incidents: Unknown
Threat Level: Peppermint(?)Almost no one can enter the park, not even our own personnel. As an amusement park, potential guests would come in droves— eager to prove the advertising wrong. They would all, however, be turned away after finding the ticket prices changed, their ovens on, or feeling sick. Everyone lost on this venture, even if I somehow do not possess high enough clearance to access the site logs— I can see that this was a gigantic waste of time and money.
Logs for A-1000
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Viability: Poor
It is in my opinion that this attraction be, shut down immediately— or at least, as soon as someone is able to access the proper documents again.