Museum of Rock
Written 2020/7/7
From the history of your favorite bands, to the first guitars and what the future may bring— we're got everything about rock!
Here at the Museum of Rock we celebrate the music that defined more than one generation, alongside the artists who helped it do so. Bring the family! We're a the Museum of Rock! About rock music! Not rocks! Rock. Music.
Naysayers
It's just a rock. No music. No guitars, no records— it's just a rock!
★☆☆☆☆
Ok, so, you may have already read the reviews. We encourage everyone to please not do not, or if they do— to not take them seriously, these are just jokes. We are a museum of rock music, with many exhibits pertaining to this. Such as our...hold on, I can't remember right now— but we have many rock music related exhibits here! We honestly don't know where guests are finding this lone boulder— that shouldn't be a part of our establishment.
Look, I am really disappointed in this. I had my girlfriend all set to learn about my favorite band, the Scroingoes. I got my her to wear a Scroingoes a shirt and mask even, because I knew she'd love it once she saw their exhibit! Not only have you failed me, but also what would have been my Scroingoes fan ex-girlfriend.
★☆☆☆☆
Exhibit(s)
We seem to have lost our list of exhibits, but rest assured that we have more than one, and none of them consist of a lone rock. We can easily guess at what's inside our museum, though, there's at least one hall of famous guitars. An exhibit for radio, probably, a room per decade is likely.
I don't understand, this sounds a lot like a scam. We don't even fully understand the memetic hazards at play here yet!
Ash, listen, it's not a scam— we could show them footage of that stupid rock at the door and they'd still insist that there's an actual museum here! Don't you understand the potential here?! Plan's simple, release it, people have been trying to come here even while it's been locked down— we don't even need to make the doors look fancy but we'll get a nice rock-museum sign up there and charge 10$ admission. They'll buy tickets, go in, be disappointed— but we'll already have their money. Their friends won't even believe them when they tell them what's inside! It's FOOLPROOF!
You're the boss, but if we're doing this— we need to make sure whoever owns the space never goes inside. We're going to place disclaimers on the doors and the website that shows the rock, too— I'm not pretending to be a blind old woman in court again.
Directions
You'll find us on Roll Dr., Jacksonville Fl.
Open from:
Mon-Fri: 8AM-6:15PM
Sat: 7AM-7PM
Sun: Jam sesh day, closed.
Viability Report
Number of Incidents: 0
Threat Level: ObsoleteCompletely harmless, this is nothing but a museum of rock n' roll— I don't know what everyone's talking about with a literal rock. No, I've never been there, why?
Test Logs for A-10001110101
Test #10001110101-1
Date: 09/07/2018
Head researcher: Salt, Tim
Subject: Dr. Fallon, KneelDescription: Subject is a noted fan of rock music, Dr. Salt was to inform him of the museum— and after getting him excited, show him footage of the rock within.
Result: Subject refused to believe Dr. Salt's evidence— and immediately left to buy tickets, clutching a ten dollar bill, stating that “Next you'll try and tell me Sleestak Lightning is on your trail.” before exiting the room.
Notes: Dr. Fallon would return the next day, and refuse to talk to Dr. Salt for a week.
Viability: Fantastic
It is in my opinion that this attraction be opened to the public. I honestly do not understand why we've kept it locked and sealed away for so long— it's just a rock museum, after all. Maybe I'll head over myself sometime soon?