Alright everyone, I believe we're in the clear this year. As you all know, supernatural activity is typically heightened around the end of October, which increases the Foundation's workload tenfold. We've been caught with our pants down before, but this year? We nipped it in the bud.

Investigations tracked down another crazed cult— the Librarians of Alex and Ria— who were planning some devious ritual to end the world with reading. Or something. Look, there were a lot of reports on my desk this week.

Now, Task Force Salad did burn down the Library of Alex and Ria while stopping the ritual, which was an unfortunate accident. The folks in R&D are extremely upset over the loss of whatever anomalous knowledge was held within, but the world is safe from the Librarians' machinations.

With their plans foiled early, there'll be no need for emergency overtime, which is great news for your weekends, and our budget!

I will admit that I am impressed with your diligence this year, Bin, but you know things tend to happen during this last week. Shouldn't we stay on alert?

Be serious, Jim, how many times have there been two major anomalous events in one week? Don't undermine this victory, we did good work here. I think we could all use an uneventful Halloween, for once!

Hris, I need you to monitor a developing situation. We're getting reports of something off the oast of various ities, it ould just be paranoia, but we an't be too areful this time of year. I'd like you to look for any new sightings and ompile a report of any similarities, keep an eye out for any anomalous ativity.

Uh. What?

Report. Oastal ity sightings. Now.

Alright, we've a bit of a dire situation on our hands. There appears to be a C Monster devouring the very concept of the letter C around the world's oastlines. Places impacted so far include; Ardiff, Olombo, Asablana, Hristhurh, Vanouver, and ttle (Thing got confused, there). It turned around at Istanbul which was Constantinople. Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople. Been a long time gone— how old is this anomaly?

If we don't stop this thing quickly, the effect could spread inland. We're already at risk here at HQ, given our placement in international waters. I really don't want to live in a world where we're the “Anomalous Ontainment Foundation”, it just doesn't have the right ring to it.

My plan: we replace the Cs it's eaten, this might undo the effects and starve it. These can't be mass produced, they'll have to be individually unique. All personnel are required to draw or design their own Cs and send them in promptly.

Hoagie says that's a bad idea— give me more time to figure how we can contain this.

I'm not taking advice from a talking sandwich, Nadalia. I thought I had someone relocate that thing to the Arctic, how'd you get it back?!

I've been on the phone all day, in calls with the leaders of countries who've lost their Cs. Moroo, Yprus, Madagasar, Anada, Greee...it's getting worse. Keep sending in those replacement Cs, we'll need all we can get!

For those who have the spare time, someone in Investigations was working on a list of things that the C Monster is poised to target next. Unfortunately she's been compromised and is presently being held in Containment, anyone up to the task on interpreting her list? I don't have time for this.

Bin. Bin. BIN. Why an't I speak normally?! Why is my company's NAME currently “heepe o.” ?! We sponsor you so these things don't impat business! FIX IT.

Alright, Nadalia, why are things getting worse?!

Hoagie and I told you the Cs were a bad idea. You've been feeding it. You'll have to disguise its food to actually starve it. That means everyone should take their Cs and any others they find, then turn them into anything else. Draw them as faces, snakes, turn them into meaningless doodles— anything.

Fine. I'll relay this to all personnel— if this doesn't work, you're fired.

You'll have to fire me and Hoagie.

The sandwich is an anomaly, Nadalia, it's supposed to be contained, it isn't even on payr— you know what? Fine. Sure. If this doesn't work, I'll give the sandwich an honorary pink slip. Whatever. Everyone, submit your adjusted Cs here.

I've received word from Ancada, Grecece, and C-attle— their Cs are back, maybe misplaced. But they're back! Keep it up— hopefully everything will settle bcak into place when enough things recovcer.

The C Monster is weakening, we've finally got a tracker on the thing and are monitoring for a good moment to ontcain it.

It worked! A task force captured the C monster this morning, the folk in R&D are telling me that it must have escaped the Library of Alex and Ria when it burned. We're lucky that nothing else got out, probably.

Great work again, everyone.

So this means Hoagie and I aren't fired?

The opposite of fired is hired, soooooo….?

I need an offcee.